Many of us wish for a more vibrant personal prayer life, more quiet time meditating on God’s word, or more moments when we can just pause, think, and reflect. In fact, the thought of moments like this will probably sound incredibly refreshing for so many of us. Yet, despite our desire for it, it can so often be a struggle to attain. I believe that one of the single greatest obstacles that can hinder moments like this from happening in our lives is that we simply fail to make the space in which it can happen.
For the sake of clarity, we will refer to this “space” as solitude.
First, Some Clarifications…
One, Solitude is not a “Dirty Word”
Solitude can seem like a negative word, conjuring up images of solitary confinement or being lost in a hot dry dessert. However, that is not the solitude to which I am referring. I am also not referring to the solitude that is a personality trait reserved for an introvert, nor the luxury reserved for people with too much time on their hands. No, I am referring to solitude as the beautiful discipline through which we are able to create space in our lives to pray, listen, think, and reflect. I am referring to solitude as a discipline that is for each one of us, regardless of our personality or our busy schedules.
Two, Solitude is not a “New Idea”
All throughout history, many of the greatest leaders would withdrawal regularly to solitude. Biblically, the Old Testament shows that God’s leaders would continually withdrawal for prayer, reflection, and clarity. We see Jacob (Genesis 32:24-32), Moses (Exodus 33:7-11), Elijah (1 Kings 19), and Daniel (Daniel 6:10-13) each withdrawal to fellowship with God, just to name a few. The New Testament continues this theme with Paul, who experienced the forced solitude of prison on multiple occasions, and Jesus Christ who would withdrawal regularly to seek the Father’s will (Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35, Matthew 14:13, Luke 22:39-44). Solitude is a designated space for our personal prayer life to grow and thrive, and it has always been the personal space for God’s people to seek after our God.
Three, Solitude is not “Anti-Community”
The practice of solitude does not mean that community and friendship are unimportant. The Bible is clear that we are created to be in community with each other, and both solitude and community are meant to coexist, as both are absolutely essential in the Christian life. The German theologian, Dietrich Boenhoefer, said it well;
Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. He will only do harm to himself and to the community…But the reverse is also true: Let him who is not in community beware of being alone. Only in the fellowship do we learn to be rightly alone and only in aloneness do we learn to live rightly in the fellowship. – Dietrich Boenhoefer, Life Together.
Solitude is a vital piece of our spiritual and physical vitality, and as we think about the practice of solitude in our lives, here are a few important things for us to understand.
Solitude is Unplugged
I believe that we may be the first generation who does not know what it is like to be bored. To prove this, next time you go to the doctor, take a quick moment to survey the waiting room. I would guess that you will see a room full of unread stacks of magazines sitting beside people who are looking down at the devices in their hands, while each person flicks their device’s screen with their index fingers for minutes on end. We have news stories, pictures, friends, emails, games, and the world all in the palm of our hands, and boredom is a thing of the past. Who needs to be bored when we can be connected, right?
Our “connectedness” (aka. our aversion to boredom) may be the single greatest hinderance to moments of solitude in our life. If we are going to experience a moment of solitude, we must temporality untether ourselves from our networks, our devices, and all of the distractions. If we going to create a space in our lives for us to be still, to listen, and to pray, then we must temporarily unplug.
The quickest and most practical way to accomplish this is to simply turn your phone on “airplane mode.” In fact, I would recommend that you consider the “airplane mode” button on your phone your personal “solitude” button.
Solitude is unplugged. (And don’t worry, it will all still be there when you come back.)
Solitude is Not Just “Being Alone”
Solitude is not simply being alone, as an aimless disconnection from our devices is not quite enough to plunge us into the rich benefits of solitude. Instead, Solitude is intentional. Solitude is being alone with purpose. Without intentionality, the vacuum that is left as you try to unplug from the noise and distractions of life will often only get filled by the next loudest distraction available.
Solitude is the intentional temporary withdrawal from the noise and distractions of your life. It is a moment to listen, to think, to pray, to write, to read, or to just sit and breath. Have you heard yourself think lately? Have you meditated on God’s word lately? Have you intentionally removed distractions for uninterrupted prayer and silence? Have you created the space in your life for these things to happen?
Solitude is not just being alone. Instead, it is an intentional momentary withdrawal for a specific purpose to pray, to meditate, to seek clarify or direction, to listen, to reflect, or to think.
Solitude is Productive
Here is another problem; we are all busy. We have schedules that are full (and often overflowing), and we each have demands on our time, our energy, and our resources. So as you think about developing a practice of solitude, the first reservation that will often come to your mind is, “Will this truly be worth my time?” Or even, “I just don’t have time for this.”
As a result, many of us will choose not to create the space or the time for solitude because more urgent things are demanding our attention. In other words, “downtime” can be regarded as unproductive when it is compared to the other things that we must get done.
But, this is a trap! Busyness does not equal productivity, and often one of the best strategies for increasing our productivity is to withdrawal from our busyness for a moment for clarity, focus, and direction. On a physical level, solitude increases our ability to handle stress, it increases our ability to deal with others in our life with greater wisdom and grace, and it can help us clear our minds from distractions. On a spiritual level, solitude creates the space for us to meditate of God’s word, to pray, and to listen to the Spirit’s voice. In other words, a moment of solitude might be the single best use of your time.
Solitude is Not Easy
It sounds so easy, right? It is simply unplugging to intentionally withdrawal for a moment… How difficult can it be? Well, give it a try… What you will find is that solitude is not easy (at least at first). So, here are three strategies to help:
- Start with Five to Ten Minutes. When you are alone with your thoughts for the first time in a while, it is amazing how loud they can be! What feels like thirty minutes of intense solitude is in reality only three and a half minutes… and you wonder, “How am I going to get through this?” How am I going to benefit from this?” Solitude is not easy. So, start small. Start with five to ten minutes. As you do this, you will get more comfortable with the silence space, and you will start use the space more effectively.
- Wake up earlier / Stay up later. Finding available moments of solitude can be tough, and life can be loud. (This is especially true for those who have young kids.) Find solitude in the moments before the world wakes up (or, for those who may be night people, find moments after the world goes to sleep). As a morning person, the moments before the world starts its day have become absolutely priceless for me. It is beautiful silence. It is still. As a result, I have found a moment in the early mornings when I can be silent and still as well. Find a moment and a space in your life, and set it aside for solitude. Find it, calendar it, and then protect it from distractions.
- Start with a plan. As you start practicing solitude, you are inevitably going to wonder if you are doing it right. Creating a plan can help serve as a “road map” as you get started. There is no “right” plan, and your plan will most likely need to be tweaked as you use it, but it will get you started. Again, as with any practice, you will get more comfortable the more you practice it. Although solitude is not easy at first, it is worth it.